I Want A Mail-Order Bride..How Much Do You Charge?

There's a lot of controversy in modern society about arranged marriages. Some people call it “oppression” whilst others crack jokes about “women in the kitchen.”

I confess, I've always belonged to the latter group.

It's not necessarily because I'm all for gender based oppression, but rather because I really just can't be bothered to cook or clean for myself.

I recently watched an episode of the popular television series “The Family” featuring an Indian family who repeatedly pressured one of their younger sons to get married, telling him that they'd “take him to India to find him a nice homely wife.”

After watching a single episode of the show, I've gotta say, I wouldn't mind joining the youngest son on his quest to find an Indian wife, either.

From what I've seen they cook, clean and basically do everything you tell them to do. Kind of like a House Elf from “Harry Potter,” but (and unfortunately this isn't always the case) without the squeaky voice.

I've never been much of an avid traveller, though..Travelling to India to find one seems a bit of a drag.

..They really should sell them on E-Bay. Hell, I'd even be willing to pay postage and handling.

WANTED:

Indian wife. Must do EVERYTHING I tell her.

Cooking and bondage cleaning is non-negotiable.

Apparently though, E-Bay doesn't sell Indian housewives online...SEEK don't exactly seem happy for me to post advertisements for one, either.

A pity, I was really excited for a moment there.

Seriously though, people: Why's everyone getting so up in arms about gender equality in countries like India? The women like to cook and clean for their husbands. That's no crime. Hell, if you ask me, a lot of us could learn something from them.

It's a real pity they don't sell them on E-Bay.

Sigh. I guess I'll just have to fantasize about Dobby the house elf and maybe one day..If I wish hard enough, I'll end up getting lucky.

And if all else fails, I guess there's always euthanasia.